After a long night of heavy drinking, making fun of my good friend marz, and watching my good pal "Vincent "Verga" Vegas" get harassed by a gay dude. Jr and I met up with my cousin genesis at the nearest Wal-mart.
Not because we wanted to shop but because we got stranded right by a trailer park near the Wal-mart. Our only ticket home was to go to the black Friday madness at the Wal-mart nearby and wait for Genesis and her husband to finish shopping in the so called "black Friday" madness.
At around 5 a.m. Jr was nowhere to be found. Turns out he was powdering up his nose in the wal-mart stalls. ha ha. While I was getting ready to tackle someone down for a hummer remote control car.
Jr shows up all sorts of fucked up and Genesis starts barking orders, "Jr get that Dora the explorer doll" and "Cachito (me) you get that hummer, it's for your brother so make sure you get one".
It was on. While waiting around the rope drops real fast by this man, only right by him for some odd reason. So everyone else sees it's a false alarm but him. The man hauls ass, gets stopped real quick with a "HEY HEY its not 6 yet. There's 2 minutes left" he looks quite embarrassed and gets red when he notices he's the only tard' that ran in like it was beer clock at the liquor store. I felt bad for that man but laughed hard. Genesis made fun of the dude and called em all sorts of names. She's hilarious.
I look side to side. See the eager faces looking at the toys like how my dog looks at me while I eat, drooling and all.
Rope drops and I immediately run for the hummers. It was a pile like at around my size in height(I'm 5'8") maybe a little higher. I reach for the yellow one and right when I'm tip toeing some heartless asshole pushes me out of the way straight into the pile of hummers. :( So here goes me, a 220 pound man down with like 70 hummers looking like a desperate toy collecting douche bag.
Still with the yellow hummer in hand. As I'm trying to get up, an old lady passes by sees me on the floor with all the hummers under me and TAKES THE ONE ON MY HANDS. By this time I'm loosing it. Trying to get up but can't. Laying on all these hummers. I said "fuck it" stepped on a few and got up snatched another hummer and out I was to look for the cart we had on the sidelines to put the hummer down and get more stuff.
The night ended up with seeing my grandma there arguing over worthless things that were like 10% off, me stealing a Pac man game, Crowd surfing on hummers, and getting jacked by a lady in her early 70's.
sweeeeeeetttttt.
Have fun and be careful out in the battlefield.
Shit hits the fan real fast out there.
Deuce.
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